Monday, March 06, 2006

Blank Noise Project

See the Blank Noise Project blogathon and please participate.

I have travelled enough crowded buses and trains in Calcutta and other cities that I know to say "Shoja hoye daran" [Stand straight!] in a particularly tough tone to a stranger invading my space, ironically in very polite words. I know not to make eye contact with that smirking man in the auto next to mine. I have also learnt that its a small minority of men who have behaved in ways that meant that I had to learn to walk around with that invisible force-field around me, where if you step into it I will give you the 'stare' and probably ask you [politely of course] to 'step away'.

There are two kinds of situations that women face in terms of harassment. One where the attacker depends on surprise and shock to escape retribution - but where you can hit back and fight back given enough awareness and forethought. One thing I have learnt is to raise my voice and say NO. I have been lucky enough, not to have faced the other kind where the attacker is in a place of power - whether physical or social or mental - and can face the victim with impunity and not face punishment. I hope I would be able to raise my voice in such a situation as well.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Eight-point someone

So I was tagged a long long time ago. So I exaggerate, a little. Anyway, the point of this tag is to come up with eight features of the person you'd want as a lover - hmm - not boyfriend/girlfriend, not husband/wife, not significant other, but lover. Given the audience of this blog (waves at dada, boudi, chhotkaka and little tenpi from next door), I will pretend that the tag was about er boyfriend.

The rules are:
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. Need to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game & leave a comment on their comments saying they’ve been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there’s no need to post again.

I WAS tagged a second time but since some people seem to think I have to post anyways, (sniff), here goes.

Oh and the 'target' has to be male. An aside, I have been to many a Tarzhay in my time, but none seem to have a particular gender as far as I could make out.

1. He has to be passionate but not evangelical about something in his life. I know way more about RD Burman songs from the early 80s than any sane human being ought to. Also about George Mallory. Mostly because it was my luck to have hung out with people who were passionate about these things. He should know better than to push it down my throat though. I am liable to throw up all over him.
2. He has to be tall, well at least taller than I am. What can I say - I am shallow. I am also apparently 5 inches taller than the average Bengali man. No I have never dated one - a Bengali man that is.
3. He has to be sensual - by which I mean all the senses. Food / art / music /movies/ sex, the works. Or at least a significant subset of them. If he is not willing to go to some concerts. watch some movies or go to a museum with me, then I may as well date a Frommer's guidebook, eh? Oh and no hangups about food - If a C rating from the food inspectors or the phuchkawala's dirty rag puts him off, umm nope!
4. He has to be a kind person. A nice person, you know? Inspite of all his cynicism he has to secretly believe that people are good.
5. He has to show interest in me and my interests too, and uh if I end up watching one of those blow everything up movies, he has to be fair enough to go watch that sappy mushy rom-com with me if I cant find anybody else to go with. Actually scratch that. He has to be fair-minded, period.
6. He should be self-aware and willing to talk about things. Vague - I know, but he has to be willing to talk about how he really feels about people, me, us, things, the price of mozzarella - oh whatever.
7. He can not be reflexively libertarian and/or a right winger. If he thinks Ayn Rand changed his life and unfettered markets are the only way for society to exist and /or he is excessively religious in a fundamentalist kind of way then we should probably never meet.
8. He should also be willing to suffer bollywood music while I drive (right now he would have to be willing to hear 'Right here, right now' on non-stop repeat). Alternately of course he has to make sure that I never have to drive, hehehe!

Phew, I hope that does not sound like a [gag] personals ad! And I tag (triumphant smile) PRIYA!!